Confession: I used to think “learning” was just absorbing information, until I saw how adults truly grow. I honestly believed if I gave people enough content, enough slides, enough notes… they’d walk away transformed. When I was teaching engineers in the early 90s maybe it was.
Spoiler: For celebrants it isn’t.
In those early days of my career, I’d run sessions that were packed with really solid theory. Models, frameworks, brilliant ideas. People would nod along, take pages of notes, tell me afterwards, “That was so interesting.” Having researched adult education at the Henley Business School I knew that if we did it that way at ICPC a few weeks later, I’d see them in a real-life situation… and they’d freeze. All that “interesting” information just vanished the second emotions were high and the room was looking at them.
Adults don’t learn by being filled up like a notebook. We learn by doing, by trying, by slightly messing it up in a safe space and then trying again. Especially in work like this, where you’re dealing with real people, real grief, real joy – you can’t just understand it in your head, you have to feel it in your body.
So this is how we teach at ICPC. Instead of spending the whole time talking at people, we take one concept and drop it straight into a real-world scenario. “Alright, here’s a tricky family dynamic. How would you handle this?” Or, “You’re halfway through a ceremony and something unexpected happens – what do you do?” Suddenly, the room comes alive. People weren’t just listening, they are practising.
And the magic bit is what happens afterwards. When someone has actually tried it out – stood up, used the words, felt their heart racing and learned how to steady themselves – they walk away different. They’ve got a reference point in their body that says, “I’ve done this once. I can do it again.” That’s where real confidence comes from, not from a beautifully highlighted handout.
That’s why, inside ICPC, I care just as much about what you can do on a Tuesday afternoon with a real family as I do about what you can write in your notebook during training. When you can see and feel the direct impact of what you’ve learned, that’s when you know you’re actually ready to make a difference.
Tell me, what’s one skill you wish you learned more practically in your past training?
